


The Crossover Nobody Wanted

by orphan_account



Series: shitty stories that will give you tumors [1]
Category: Dora the Explorer (Cartoon), Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, What Is Wrong With ME, benny is actually a bull but who cares hes a fucking cow lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-07-12 04:12:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dont read this unless you want cancer</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> where did i go wrong in life

Karkat was walking in some unknown universe, and then when he stepped on a bridge.  
And then he was pushed away by some furry piece of shit.  
Then Dora came along with Boots and they said, "It's the Grumpy Old Troll!"  
Then the Grumpy Old Troll sang his song, and Karkat was really confused.

Karkat said, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!"  
Boots replied, "That language is inappropriate. Are you also a Grumpy Old Troll?"  
"OKAY I AM A TROLL, AND I WILL ADMIT THAT I'M GRUMPY. BUT I'M NOT FUCKING OLD."  
Dora sighed, "At least control your language and quiet down. Let's solve the Grumpy Old Troll's riddle."  
"Which Grumpy Old Troll?" Boots asked.  
"THAT ONE, OBVIOUSLY. I AM NOT OLD, YOU FUCKERS." Karkat yelled  
"Language!"

I am not going to continue this any further. It's already bad enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry fish child

"wwhy wwould you wwant me to be here kar?" Eridan asked, after being dragged here by Karkat.  
"BECAUSE. I DON'T WANT TO GO FUCKING THROUGH THIS ALONE AND YOU WERE LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO FUCKING VOLUNTEERED TO GO THROUGH THIS UNIVERSE. IT'S FUCKING HORRIBLE AND CRINGY AND I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK I'M FUCKING OLD HERE." Karkat answered loudly.  
"i didnt think wwed be goin to the dora the explorer univverse. its the wworst."  
"I FUCKING KNOW THAT. THEY KEPT SAYING I WAS OLD!"  
Eridan stopped walking, and stared at the shorter troll.  
"kar you havve to remember this univverse appeals to fuckin fivve year olds. the logic here is messed up." He said as if Karkat forgot.  
"HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT IT?" Karkat asked.  
"wwell its been a long time. nobodys evver wwanted to hear the story of howw i filled my first quadrant... or its to embarrassin for me to evven tell it."  
"OKAY. FUCKING TELL AWAY."  
~FLASHBACK~  
Eridan was walking in the woods, and the trees were very colorful.  
"wwhere am i?" He asked himself.  
That's when a voice answered, "You're in the Rainbow Trees Woods!"  
"wwhat."  
"I'm Boots!"  
"wwhat."  
"Are you deaf, attractive fish? I'm Boots!"  
"did you just fuckin call me attractivve."  
Boots slapped Eridan and said, "Watch your fucking language!"  
Eridan replied, "yeah wwell wwatch yours you fuckin unrealistic monkey. that slap couldnt hurt a fly."  
"Excuse me?"  
~FLASHBACK END~  
"long story short, boots wwas my first kismesis." Eridan concluded.  
"WHAT. THE. FUCK." Karkat said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boots x eridan is my new otp
> 
>  
> 
> okay i promise it isnt im sorry
> 
> someone asked for more and i like to make people happy.
> 
> so i made more


	3. Chapter 3

STOP LEAVING KUDOS ON THIS GARBAGE  
WHY?????


	4. why am i still writing for this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please stop encouraging this story

Kankri was walking in the Rainbow Trees Woods for some reason and that's when a girl walked over.  
She said, "Hi there! I'm Dora the Explorer! Can you find the beautiful red alien thing?"  
A cursor went over Kankri and he said, "Quit it! That triggers me!"  
The only reply he got was, "Well I ain't triggering anyone with the cursor. How about we ask the Grumpy Old Troll if we can do stuff under the bridge?"  
"What?! No way!"  
That's when Porrim came over with a chainsaw and chased Dora away.  
Boots said, "Have you seen my kismesis?"

~FLASHBACK END~  
"And that's why I don't go near woods with rainbow trees anymore." Kankri finished.  
Cronus looked at him and said, "Great story 666/10 would fap again."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i regret writing this please dont encourage this story or i'll end up writing gamzee x the big red rooster ((and gamzee doesnt deserve this))

Meenah walked around the playground and saw a lone cow. She walked over to him.  
"Who da fukc are you," She asked.  
"I'm...The Unknown Cow... My name is Benny but everyone forgets my name and now I'm just The Unknown Cow." The unnaturally blue colored cow said.  
"Alright. I forgot your boring name already, Unknown Cow. I'ma call you.... Nameless. It's like Signless except you use Name instead of Sign fuck you its smart."  
"I lovei t!" said Nameless.  
"Alright Namie, let's start our redrom and tkae over the world," Meenah shoted to the sky.  
"Wait what s redrom," Nameless assed.  
"Google that shit lmao," Meenah said.  
And then Meenah and Nameless ruled the world together the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOP ENCOURAGING THIS FUCKING STORY


	6. Chapter 6

PLEASE STOP ENCOURAGING THIS STORY  
CONTINUING IT WILL ONLY CREATE MORE CANCER  
DONT SAY YOU NEED MORE OF THIS STORY BECAUSE YOU DONT. YOU DO NOT NEED MORE.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> save me from the nothing ive become

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to end this story im running out of dora characters

gazme macaroni was strolling in the rainbow trees woods while boots and eridan were having hate sex.  
then the big red rooster was like "omg r thos drugs gimmie some."  
and then he knocked over the beans that gamzee was eating.  
"i was...."  
"eating thos..."  
"BEANS!!111!!"  
gamzee motherfucking said.  
"oh man im sorry"  
"its okay. yo wanna be my moirail. i kinda stabbed mine twice in the chest and then threw him into lava." gazmee propsoded.  
"omg ganzee yis" hte big red roster sed and then they morial cuddled adn becam matspritts adn hten had like 1000000 babis hte edn


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im supposed to be asleep and i ended up writing another chapter to this piece of shit

vriska wsa wlakikikign dwonn hte renbo cehrry bolsum tre wya bc ti wsa liki hte ANIMU!!!!oneone11!  
hten,,, SWIPPER STOL HRE DCIEC TIHGN!!one!  
"get bkack hreer!" vriks scremd adn rna past bots n erisna doign haswt ksmesis yoai.  
"lmao dat iz sum haswt hawt yaoiyoai lol desu XD" vriksa sedeadn cart swper.  
"srry vrishoppingcart i juts wnates u 2 notic me senpai i luv u :("  
and then they maked out


	9. why am i still doing this i need to fucking stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kanaya x the map  
> save yourself

Kanaya was walking near the grumpy old troll's bridge.  
"Solve my riddle!" said the grumpy old troll.  
Kanaya said, "yeah whatever. Im looking for Karkat bc im the mom friend and i need to make sure he doesnt mpreg"  
"Okaysaid" the grumpy old troll and let her through.  
Kanaya looked for Karkat and then a map appeared.  
"hello map do u know where karkat is" kanaya assed  
"Sorry, no. But I can look because im the map im the map im the--"  
"shut up" said kanaya  
and then they maked out  
"kanaya i thought you loved me :(" said rose  
"Sorry Rose This Map Is Better Than You Can Ever Be." kanaya sais  
and then rose cryed herself to sleep.


	10. oh look a new chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> legit chapter

It’s the Nutshack! (Yee, yee)  
It’s the Nutshack! (What he say?)  
It’s the Nutshack! (Oh, yes! Yeeeah)  
It’s the Nutshack! (Hey, I got the Nutshack!)  
It’s the Nutshack! (‘The fuck you say, boyee?)  
It’s the Nutshack! (It’s the Nutshack!)  
It’s the Nutshack! (It’s the Nutshack!)  
It’s the Nutshack! (It’s the Nutshack…)  
It’s the Nutshack! (Hey!)  
It’s the Nutshack! (Piece a’ nuts!)  
It’s the Nutshack! (Whoooa!)  
It’s the Nutshack!  
Hoo-ugh!  
Phil’s from the stone, Jack’s from the pier,  
Horatio or Horat so beer!  
Tito Dick “Dickman”, baby!  
He raised Phil and loves the ladies.  
Jack’s cool-ass lazy, he’s still learnin’.  
Number one Cherry Pie, still a virgin.  
Chita, meet da freak of da weekah!  
Phil’s homegirl that Jack wanna keep her,  
But that’s not happenin’, either!  
Shakin’ like a seizure, hold up, boys  
and spark this, take a breather.  
With that reefer in my lungs,  
I got grapes, what you watchin’, son?  
It’s the Nutshack! (Yah!)  
It’s the Nutshack! (AAAAARRRGH!)  
It’s the Nutshack!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you probably want to kill me because you thought you'd get another shitty chapter to this shitty fanfic


	11. authors note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why am i making an author's note for this piece of shit

because i am unable to come up with a ship, please do it for me.  
its gotta be between a homestuck character and a dora the explorer character  
and i cant believe im actually planning on continuing this piece of shit what the hell is wrong with me


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i lost control of my life

diego was walking along the titanic when he bumped into...............  
JACK NOIR!!11!!!  
"omg ur hot do u want to go out with me" said diego as he flirted with jack ((A/N: JACK IS RLLY SEXXI AND I RLLY SHIP HIM WITH DIEGO I THINK THEY MAKE A SEXXI COUPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT JUDGE ME))  
jack gapsed  
"ofc diego"  
and then the plane they were on crashed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
they landed in the cold ocean and jack and diego were clinging to a piece of broken plane.  
"jack i wanted to yaoi with you :((((" diego cried  
jack said "ok im gonna die"  
"i'll never let go jack i promise" diego said sadly  
and then he let go of jack  
"bitch u broke ur promise" jack said as he dieded.  
and diego began to sing  
"YOU'RE HERE THERE'S NOTHING I FEAR AND I KNOW THAT MY HEART WILL GO ON WE'LL STAY FOREVER THIS WAY YOU ARE SAFE IN MY HEART AND MY HEART WILL GO ON AND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> god why am i still doing this

"Hahahahahhahahhahahhahhhhaaa u got totally laughed at!" Terezi laughed at Karkat with the Grumpy Old Troll.  
"Now that may be triggering, terezi u should apologi--" Kankri-kun sais.  
"ill tell eridan to tell boots to get dora" Terezi giggled.  
"YYYYOOOUUU WOULDNT DARE" kankri said.  
"I would." Terezi said.  
and then she maked out with the grumpy old troll as Kankri cried his triggered tears the end why this stop me pls im gonna write aradia x abuela if i continue and nobody wants that.  
s t o p m e p l s


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> abuela is going through an edgy emo phase  
> i regret fucking everything

"abuela yuo need to stop wearing so much makeup! and why did you dye ur old lady hair black?" Dora ask  
"ur 2 young to underst an nd nobody undfertsands its nto a phase, dora." Abuela said  
and she cried blood and ran out. But she died because shes old af lmao.  
and then she appeared to Aradia.  
"Holy shit ur hot. lets date!!" Abuela told Aradia goffikly.  
"Yeah sure!!" said Aradia.  
And then they got married  
And had 24892468926498269246946249299825389358952498235 babies  
And then they maked out.

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry


End file.
